Keys to detect low self-esteem

Keys to detect low self-esteem

There has been much talk over the years about self-esteem and what to do to improve it. Today we propose you in this post to take a self-awareness test to find out to what extent you have a healthy self-esteem. You dare?


  • 1 How to know if someone has low self-esteem
  • 2 Other indicators of low self-esteem
  • 3 Consequences of low self-esteem
  • 4 Low Situational Self-Esteem
  • 5 Low Characteristic Self-Esteem

How to know if someone has low self-esteem

Feel great need for approval

First, we can analyze if we feel the excessive need for approval and / or affection from others. That craving is usually particularly noticeable, even if you try to hide from others.

The adult with low self-esteem who wants to receive affection may show himself in kind excess and strive to help everyone, but between the lines one can distinguish that he acts under the extreme desire to please, and not by a disinterested affective heat.

Show high insecurity

Another feature is the insecurity he feels about his own abilities, which leads him to feel less or even act improperly. Have strong feelings of inferiority, ideas of incompetence and ugliness that may not be really grounded or right. These impressions and feelings may appear under the facade of worries and regrets, or as compensations for praise and flaunting about themselves. These personalities also have great difficulty in expressing with certainty what they feel or think, as well as in expressing justified criticism, making decisions, explicitly opposing or giving instructions.

They tend to cover up all these needs with euphemisms or other far-fetched ways. However, the defect in self-affirmation can occur in the opposite direction, the individual presenting in an overwhelming, intrusive and hostile way. They feel cheated or offended easily, in response to which they respond with offensive and presumptuous demands.

Feel fear and anguish

With a very low self-esteem fear and anguish are key pieces that move the individual to develop defensive mechanisms against their fears and alternative solutions that entail enormous energy wear for them.

In a subject with low self-esteem, the fear he suffers may be both to win and to lose, because what he obtains from his attempts will not show him "real quality", but will perceive it as a substitution of what the negative perception dictates. of himself.

Present behaviors that generate relationship problems

Established this complexity of thought, the individual with low self-esteem idea special modalities in order to achieve the affection that he craves so much. It does through bribery, the charity, the invocation to justice or by means of threats. In each of them the hostility quota is growing. He who bribes seems to say "I love you, therefore, you must love me and leave everything for me"; the call to charity seems to express"You have to love me, because I suffer and I'm helpless"; in the invocation of justice the message is"I have done all this for you and you, what have you done for me?"; instead, the one who threatens poses directly"If you don't love me, then, you'll see"Finally, when the previous resources are no longer working, your attention call may be"Anyway, nobody loves me anymore, so I better stay in this corner, so that nobody despises me".

Is distrustful

It is very feasible that the affection dedicated to such people arouses distrust and anxiety in them. They react as if yielding to that free and sincere expression of feelings will capture them in a web of suffering, being able to experience even panic at the suspicion that someone who offers them affection is truly sincere.

Other indicators of low self-esteem

In adults with low self-esteem, it is possible to recognize some of the following behaviors, proposed by García, D'Anna et al. (1999).

  • Hard and excessive self-criticism that keeps the individual in a state of hypervigilance and dissatisfaction with himself.
  • Critical Hypersensitivity, for which he feels exaggeratedly attacked, injured. It tends to blame failures and frustrations on others (extrapunitive) or on the situation (impunitive). Cultivate stubborn resentments against your critics.
  • Chronic indecision, not for lack of information, but for exaggerated fear of being wrong.
  • Unnecessary desire to please, so he does not dare to say a "no resounding". You may more fear of displeasing and losing the good opinion of the petitioner.
  • Perfectionism, as an enslaving self-demand to do "perfectly" everything you try. This leads to an internal crumbling when things do not go as required.
  • Excessive guilt, for which he is accused and condemned with respect to behaviors that are not always objectively bad; He exaggerates the magnitude of his mistakes and mistakes and / or regrets them indefinitely, without ever forgiving himself completely.
  • Floating hostility, that is, irritability on the surface, always about to explode even for minor things. Attitude of the hypercritical who everything feels bad, everything dislikes, everything disappoints him, nothing satisfies him.
  • Defensive trend, is a generalized negative (everything sees black: his life, his future and, above all, himself) and a general inapetence of the joy of living and of life itself.

Consequences of low self-esteem

Even if low self-esteem does not mean or is synonymous with psychopathology, can generate certain conditions such as social phobia, which is usually accompanied by a low self-esteem for fear of criticism.

In adults, their self-esteem seriously conditions their level of personal satisfaction. When the self-concept is constituted on the basis of relatively permanent perceptions and affections about oneself, an important part of personal self-esteem moves with almost no alterations throughout life, while the same undergoes minor modifications. Consideration decreases in self-assessment are closely related to the intensity, duration, meaning and breadth of the trigger stimulus.; in the same way that stress adopts different severity indices, depending on the spectacular nature of the trauma and its recurrence.

Whether or not consciously, Judging and rejecting yourself causes tremendous pain. A normal adult, under such conditions, is inhibited from taking social, academic or professional risks. Along with his emotional life, sexuality suffers from important disorders. As noted above, the adult lifts defensive barriers. He can take pride in himself and the world or immerse himself in a perfectionist endeavor. Or use alcohol or drugs.

Low Situational Self-Esteem

It manifests or encompasses only specific areas within the subject's life. For example, a person can trust himself as a father, but he can present serious apprehensions or no expectations of achieving achievements within his profession.

Low Characteristic Self-Esteem

This decrease usually had its origin in early experiences of abandonment, disqualification, abuse or abuse. The feeling of "evil", "guilt", "undeservedness" or "incompetence" is more global, tending to cover various aspects or areas of the person's life.

In these cases, the person with low self-esteem is permanently and generally inhibited. An example of this would be a sullen subject, who verbally assaults those who work with him, imposes an excessive demand, tries to influence public life, does not engage in a stable way with a sexual partner, etc.

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