At certain moments in our lives we have all felt: hurt, hurt, offended, cowed or harassed by a certain situation, which is inherent in the human condition. We respond according to our perception of the facts, according to the information that exists in our unconscious and what we capture with the senses. Hence we experience different types of interpretations and emotions regarding the same fact, word or circumstance. However, when a person stops learning, from recognizing and / or understanding the teaching that a painful event evidences in this school called "life", they may be trapped and imprisoned by their emotions; presenting an imbalance in determining aspects of its existence. Such is the case of beings who anchor themselves to sadness, resentment or suffering, these people acquire a behavior of victimhood. They are people who consistently feel like "poor me." These individuals identify with a phrase or question that is frequently asked: Why does this happen to me?
Victimism is the behavior that a person acquires unconsciously
... because within her limbic brain a sadness and / or rage suffered is imprisoned, unrecognized emotions that make these beings attract situations that lead her to express those hidden sensations. It is the way the unconscious mind protects the person to avoid danger - our brain interprets pain as a threat - or a greater evil. These emotions are projected in the form of difficulties and thus, the individual manifests sadness and / or anger, however, by not doing it consciously, healing does not occur and continues in the repetition of this type of events
Acquiring a behavior of victimhood is synonymous with suffering, it is one of the main obstacles in personal development, in assertive communication, the achievement of goals and dreams; Similarly, the person stops learning from himself and others, from his mistakes and heal.
This attitude usually implies an unconscious process that starts with the provocation, then for the dispute or the suffering and finally the claim or complaint.
Let's look at the process:
- The victim's behavior begins with Attract unconsciously, of course; contexts to complain and lament are individuals who are obsessed with finding the dark, negative, tragic, calamitous or suspicious side of any situation. They seek in each situation to express pain, and, in fact, they are hurt; This is what is called, provocation, it is at this stage where he expresses the hidden sadness.
- At this stage, look for guilty, offended and / or hurt in "self-defense", he rejoices in telling his suffering, gets accomplices of his suffering, or shut up, expressing his pain in the face. That is, the victim usually has a passive or active attitude; the first happens when he submits, lowers his head and justifies the offender, a typical behavior of the battered woman; the second, when facing the offender from his strong point, directly or indirectly. It is direct in the case of verbal aggressors or, in fact, as the abusive man and it is indirect, when he chooses to defame, he urges, betrays, etc. In this stage of suffering still emanates sadness and manifests anger.
- Then look for the dispute. In this part of the process, the victim claims or complains about the events, as long as he does not have a passive attitude. This is the stage where he lets out the hidden rage. He usually takes refuge in his wounds to generate pity and avoid recognizing his behavior, with this attitude he continues to overlap his true emotions. In cases of passive attitude it is accompanied by a childish behavior, of supposed weakness.
Victim behavior arises in various orders of life; It goes from the individual, family, work to the social. Such conduct is rewarded and "valued" in different fields. From very young they educate us under their approval, in such a way that there is a great impediment to identify it as an obstacle in the adequate human development. Social victimhood is used as a political campaign flag by certain rulers, abusive businessmen and even any ordinary citizen to wash their faults, gain public admiration or generate followers. Now, make it clear that it is not about stopping helping, which is a human virtue, but of the intention that you have when you help and use the manipulation, both of the victim and the person attending.
An example of social victimhood, we have in the case of a woman who broke her leg and the government began to give her a deserved help, since she was unable to work and was also the mother of three children; Well, the woman has been wearing an orthopedic device for six years and indeed when she goes to the doctor, he certifies that she still needs the device. She unconsciously do not want to heal, since this represents the suspension of financial aid; In this situation, the victimhood of women is detrimental and affects the esteem of their children. This is a woman with an immature (passive) attitude, presumably with a sadness hidden in relation to the father, since the state represents this archetype.
In family victimhood we have the case of a young woman who lived with her mother, she was about 23 years old; the two women lived in constant dispute, hurting each other through grievances and insults; One of the reasons was that the mother entered without knocking on the door of the daughter's room and this caused the young woman great disgust, however, the mother justified herself by saying that it was her home and could enter without asking permission; constituting the matter in an unfortunate and recurring lawsuit. They had been embedded in the same issue of confrontation for years. The daughter even left home, but soon returned and returned to the same dispute; the most surprising thing was that the daughter knowing the mother's behavior and the anger that generated her, I never knocked on the door; which would have represented the end of the conflict. However, both seemed to need the dispute; evidencing victimhood Both women are full of Rage, each one finds in the other the best opponent to shed her, possibly united by the same anger towards the figure of "Mother".
Let's see now, some suggestions to overcome this behavior:
- identify that it shows victimhood. At this point and with all of the above it is easy to recognize if you have such behavior.
- Find the emotion of sadness, anger and / or rage that hides in the unconscious and from there projects the situations so that they are healed. Our unconscious brings the situations we need, it is as if we are looking outside the representations of the images of the emotions that are in that mind. This is the reason to keep repeating pain scenes, They need to be healed to set us free since, if they are still there, they are a danger to our livelihood, which is the function of the unconscious, protect us.
- Seek or seek professional help when it is detected that by itself it is incapable of evidencing the information that is hidden in the unconscious and that continues to be projected in its external world.
Victimism represents a danger to the unconscious because, if the person fails to solve the hidden pain, it can lead to a serious illness or an unfortunate life. Hence we need to be attentive to our behaviors to identify if we are acting with victimhood.Related tests
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